Here they are:
Postseason Fantasy Awards
Thumb Sitter Award
Eastside Eelpout - You drafted a magnificent team, especially a strong stable of running backs, and probably could have traded one for a Top 15 WR early in the year when their value was at their peak. However, you didn't seem to realize you could only start 2 RB's each week, and as the weeks went on, your thumb became more and more swollen..
By the time the trade deadline approached the thumb had grown so much it reached the cerebral cortex and caused it to offer Terrel Owens to Bob Wiley for Adrian Peterson.
Soon after, there was a spectacular explosion at the exact moment Steve Johnson dropped a sure touchdown pass-proof that the thumb had exploded with such force that it altered one of your players actions in a football game a thousand miles away.
When Steve Johnson was questioning God after the game for making him drop the pass, he was actually blaming the thumb, but he only has a 3rd grade education so he confused the two...
Rabbit's Foot Award
NovaKane - On paper your team stank, and look destined to earn a bottom seed next to Bus Stop Bitches, but through strength of schedule (or lack thereof) you managed to luck your way into the #1 spot, by facing everyone on their worst week, eventually advancing to the toilet bowl where luck ran out and your team was exposed for what it was, scoring 21 points. The toilet bowl was fitting as your team was shit covered, metaphorically speaking all season, and Ginger Kid Killers fittingly flushed your team down the toilet once and for all.
We have seen you draft some strong teams in the past, but this year surely wasn't one of them..
NovaKane - On paper your team stank, and look destined to earn a bottom seed next to Bus Stop Bitches, but through strength of schedule (or lack thereof) you managed to luck your way into the #1 spot, by facing everyone on their worst week, eventually advancing to the toilet bowl where luck ran out and your team was exposed for what it was, scoring 21 points. The toilet bowl was fitting as your team was shit covered, metaphorically speaking all season, and Ginger Kid Killers fittingly flushed your team down the toilet once and for all.
We have seen you draft some strong teams in the past, but this year surely wasn't one of them..
Marty Morneiwig Award (Worst Coach)
Ell Pollo Loco - You had a record of 5-3. You were in first place (or close enough.) Your team looked formidable.. Then, inexplicably you stopped paying attention to your roster, and your team lost SEVEN IN A ROW TO END THE SEASON! You could been a contender..but instead were a martyr for fantasy ineptitude the world over.
Honorable Mention:
Ell Pollo Loco - You had a record of 5-3. You were in first place (or close enough.) Your team looked formidable.. Then, inexplicably you stopped paying attention to your roster, and your team lost SEVEN IN A ROW TO END THE SEASON! You could been a contender..but instead were a martyr for fantasy ineptitude the world over.
Honorable Mention:
Whitey's World - On paper a great team, but when the injury bug hit, so did fantasy team faith, and both went quietly into the night around week 3, leaving Commissioner Bob Wiley to tend to a neglected roster.
Reading the Fantasy Cheat Sheet Upside Down Award
Luckydevils - It has been said it is sometimes better to be lucky than smart, but in the case of this particular draft you were neither.
Each and every week your team did it's best to show it wasn't qualified to be a contender, and by the end of the year, no one needed convincing.
Hopefully, next year, Brett Favre will retire to save you from drafting him in round 2, but even if that does happen, there is still a possibility that you will draft Elizabeth Hassleback..
Therefore I recommend buying a CURRENT draft book, and paging through it at least once before committing to Fred Lane as your starting RB.
Luckydevils - It has been said it is sometimes better to be lucky than smart, but in the case of this particular draft you were neither.
Each and every week your team did it's best to show it wasn't qualified to be a contender, and by the end of the year, no one needed convincing.
Hopefully, next year, Brett Favre will retire to save you from drafting him in round 2, but even if that does happen, there is still a possibility that you will draft Elizabeth Hassleback..
Therefore I recommend buying a CURRENT draft book, and paging through it at least once before committing to Fred Lane as your starting RB.
Rookie of the Year
Trachea Twisters - Surely it wasn't your first football draft, but with this league it was, and the fantasy football elders were impressed with your not going strictly by the book when picking players and at the same time finding gems that in hindsight were proof of good prognostication skills (Mike Wallace-who woulda thunk it.)
Sure, you got screwed by bad luck (second most points scored against you overall), and Chris Johnson ran towards the end of the season like he had been assaulted in the showers by the Titan's defensive line after dropping the soap....but overall you should have made the playoffs, and if not for lady luck deciding to whore for someone else instead, (first name's Nova) you would have reached the promised land.
Honorable Mention:
Romperstompers - Initially I had concerns that someone with hints of white supremacy in their name could co-exist with such a multicultured league, but after you and Brian T. batted your eyes at each other during the draft, and the fumes of jungle fever made themselves known (sea salt and watermelon mixed together) I knew there would be no issues. That is unless you include the issue of you attempting to vie for supremacy in the standings against Bob Wiley. You won the battle, I won the war, but we both likely have small penises so in the end neither is victorious.
Romperstompers - Initially I had concerns that someone with hints of white supremacy in their name could co-exist with such a multicultured league, but after you and Brian T. batted your eyes at each other during the draft, and the fumes of jungle fever made themselves known (sea salt and watermelon mixed together) I knew there would be no issues. That is unless you include the issue of you attempting to vie for supremacy in the standings against Bob Wiley. You won the battle, I won the war, but we both likely have small penises so in the end neither is victorious.
Worst Scheduling Luck
Bus Stop Bitches - You finished with 22 less points than NovaKane overall on the season, yet there you sit like a diseased hooker in Cambodia waiting for the last dance with Gary Glitter.
A 22 point difference on the season yet he is in 1st and you are in 10th place.
Had you drafted anyone but Stephen Jackson third overall, you would probably be in the money this week, and treating Steve to a nice meal at the 90's..
Doesn't really matter in the end though, as you and Steve split everything evenly anyway.
Vince Lombardi Award
Bob Wiley - Sure you had an excellent roster, that showed extraordinary prognostication skills, but it was the decisions you made on a week to week basis that cemented your legacy as coach of the year. With the competition the way it was, there weren't many mistakes that could be made, and there weren't, as evidenced by 7 wins in a row to end the season, and the first 12 man championship in the league's existence. Only a handful of mistakes were made when looking back the day after all the games had ended, something that couldn't be said in other years. You magnificent bastard!
Bob Wiley - Sure you had an excellent roster, that showed extraordinary prognostication skills, but it was the decisions you made on a week to week basis that cemented your legacy as coach of the year. With the competition the way it was, there weren't many mistakes that could be made, and there weren't, as evidenced by 7 wins in a row to end the season, and the first 12 man championship in the league's existence. Only a handful of mistakes were made when looking back the day after all the games had ended, something that couldn't be said in other years. You magnificent bastard!
Paper Champions Award
Ask Don Frye - Looking at your team on paper before the season started, (Jamaal Charles, Aaron Rodgers, Vernon Davis, Ryan Mathews) I was not looking forward to the prospect of playing you. In fact, I was sure you would make the playoffs, as I also had Jamaal Charles highly rated (ask Spanks) and figured Ryan Mathews would do at least above average in that offense. I also thought V-Jax would explode as soon as he got back.
Little did I know my fears would be unfounded many weeks later as I won the saddest match in the history of fantasy football winning 45-40 in a game that made the toilet bowl look glamorous..
Looking at that team on paper it seems everybody decided to have a good game at a different week during the season, and they just couldn't fire on all cylinders at the same time, which is another reason I say fantasy football is largely luck, as that same crap happened to me one too many times the past few years.
Ask Don Frye - Looking at your team on paper before the season started, (Jamaal Charles, Aaron Rodgers, Vernon Davis, Ryan Mathews) I was not looking forward to the prospect of playing you. In fact, I was sure you would make the playoffs, as I also had Jamaal Charles highly rated (ask Spanks) and figured Ryan Mathews would do at least above average in that offense. I also thought V-Jax would explode as soon as he got back.
Little did I know my fears would be unfounded many weeks later as I won the saddest match in the history of fantasy football winning 45-40 in a game that made the toilet bowl look glamorous..
Looking at that team on paper it seems everybody decided to have a good game at a different week during the season, and they just couldn't fire on all cylinders at the same time, which is another reason I say fantasy football is largely luck, as that same crap happened to me one too many times the past few years.
